A few minutes after midnight, my wife fell on the way to the bathroom. She wasn’t able to move her left leg without pain, so my only option was to call 911—a personal first.
Hospital staff confirmed the expected—a fractured hip requiring immediate surgery. After four days of recovery in the hospital, she would then be moved to a rehabilitation facility for an extended stay.
Not until after I had returned to the now eerily quiet house shortly before daybreak was I able to think through what had happened in such a short time and try to get my arms around what was ahead. Not at all helpful were feelings of suddenly being alone and vulnerable.
Two days later and after her successful surgery, those feelings were replaced by relaxed feelings of having survived along with the ability to responsibly decide what would be the key elements of a new kind of daily existence for me.
When the rest of those 31 days had passed by, I did a post mortem of sorts.
Specifically, what began with considerable anxiety seasoned with uncertainty soon leveled out for me to have a more positive sense of having survived another of life’s unexpected emergencies.
Although there’s nothing unusual about that, I was surprised by how sensitive I had become to my immediate surroundings, especially to how I was relating to other people.
I tried to make the most of my freedom by eating out more, catching up on home-related projects both inside and outside, and visiting some different stores. Combined, those elements made for a pleasant, often challenging, and sometimes almost fun experience. In between were daily visits with my wife during which I served as both an emotional helper (kiss on the cheek) and service (delivering the mail).
Through it all, my belief that everything would work out okay became stronger. I found myself smiling as I confidently shared that thought during conversational updates with friends and sometimes even strangers. That we live in a smaller town of about 40,000 helped because even while running errands, it’s not at all unusual to meet a friend or acquaintance with the always “How you doing?” question
During that time I came in contact with such folks as receptionists, doctors, nurses, clerks, wait staff, office help, janitors, school kids, neighbors, friends, Sunday school class members, delivery drivers, bank tellers, customer service reps, mail carriers, college students, garbage truck drivers, and salesmen.
Not until it was over, however, did I have this ah-ha moment:
During all those encounters I never experienced any act or attitude smacking of anger, jealously, impatience, ignorance, or unlawful, non-caring or inappropriate behavior.
Then came this compelling question: How could this have happened in such an “it’s all about me” oriented society?
A matter of chance? Not likely regardless of the odds. By choice? Also not likely because these were mainly random and unplanned encounters. Sympathetic people? Very few knew of my wife’s mishap.
From that emerged this intriguing question: Just as a smile nearly always causes another to smile, could my attitude and quiet manner have opened the door for others to do, say, or be the same? If so, it seemed logical they were revealing the goodness most of us have but rarely show. Instead, we unconsciously mimic other people’s anger, frustration, and lack of patience.
Through action and words I had extended myself in their direction and they had responded in like kind.
It all came to an end when I brought my wife back home, laid aside the “being alone” hat and put on the “care giver” version.
In the meantime, I find myself believing even more strongly that not only was the behavior of all those people on trial, so was mine. That I gave my best caused them to bring out the best of themselves.
You might need to wait quite a while until the right situation comes along for you to prove that to yourself or build upon what I believe to be true, but I strongly encourage you to give it a try.
I can’t imagine how much nicer it would be “out there” if everyone did.
