If that sounds nonsensical or illogical, consider how significant it would be if you were the only one taking a test, the only one running a race, the only candidate on the ballot. You wouldn’t be different from anyone else because there would be no one else with whom to be compared.
By virtue of that, you wouldn’t have any measure against which to be valued. Neither would you have any bragging rights or any other claim to fame because none of those rewards would be the least bit significant.
Like it or not, this is the kind of world we are slowly but surely making for ourselves. You see, the less we reveal about ourselves the less we are able to determine the best route for us as individuals to take. In doing so, we undermine the essence of our very existence.
We human beings are communal in nature, the reason there is more strength in numbers than in individuals. We see the same thing in animals whose brains are far less developed than ours. Wolves hunt in packs. Birds fly in flocks. Buffalo travel in herds. Both we and they do it because it’s the natural thing to do.
So this question: If that’s true, then why are we attempting to be loners when there is no compelling need to be?
For example and in case you have yet to get the message, motion picture theaters that have been a common feature on the American landscape for more than a hundred years are about to become extinct. The reason is that we prefer, or think we prefer, to see movies “in the privacy of our own home.” True, considering convenience and cost, a solid argument can be made for that.
At the same time, however, we are overlooking a critically important point. That is, if you are watching a movie at home you are cheating yourself because you aren’t seeing it with others. There is magic in being a part of a mass of those who are seeing, hearing, and experiencing laughter, tears, and thoughtful moments just as you are.
If that weren’t the case, performers would never hit the road to play in concert halls or stadiums, or to a crowd anywhere but only to a microphone in a recording studio. As a result there would be no cheering, no yells of approval, no rounds of applause, no encores.
Neither would you, a believer or even a devoted fan of the performer, be a part of the crowd. As a result, you wouldn’t be a part of a sense of purpose or joining others during moments turned magical and memorable.
We must not kid ourselves. Doing things together brings forth satisfying emotions and a sense of magic that can’t be produced in any other way. If that weren’t true, we wouldn’t be witnessing entertainers playing to real live audiences of thousands.
We witness the same thing in movie theaters. True, the actors aren’t there, but those who like those actors are. And if you are there, you are going to react like they do and also applaud after it’s all over. The same dynamics are at work at sporting events — creating magical moments for everyone.
Every time we forfeit the opportunity to engage with others, we are automatically forfeiting a valuable and irreplaceable part of the human experience. And yet, we keep insisting on going down that path.
There is hardly a better example than the self-check out lane in grocery stores. We think we, who do it once a week, can do it better than those who do it twenty times in an hour. Or that we as one person can price out and sack up faster than two people. Or that we can speed up the process by not having to stand in line.
Yet, we overlook the built-in and undeniable efficiencies of clerks and baggers. And as for having to wait in line, are we really fretting that much about wasting five minutes when there are 840 minutes in the usual fourteen waking hours in a day?
Even more important is that by using the self-check we are depriving ourselves of possibly engaging with the cashier and bagger who are usually up for a quick greeting or a timely comment. Just as you are helping them make their day, so are you helping make your own.
Or consider what happens every time we get a drive through meal at a restaurant instead of eating inside. We not only are forfeiting the chance to relate to the wait staff but also the enjoyment we get from simply being around others who are there for the same reason we are.
Instead of passing off such simple acts as being unimportant, we should think of them as being a vital part of the human experience — being alive and having a good life.
Starting now, our mission should be to promote togetherness whenever and however possible.
By itself, being alone is nothing special — nothing special at all.
