Just a few weeks ago a friend became teary eyed as he remembered the COVID pandemic and described how hopelessly frustrated he had been when not allowed to visit his dying uncle or even attend his funeral.
It wasn’t just about him either. Millions of people have similar and often vivid stories about how they fared during those dark days.
Whether accidental, intentional, or by default, facts, common sense, and logic were shoved into the backseat while assumption, accusation, and ignorance drove the bus. Everyone in the work places, schools, churches, businesses and homes was frozen in place and deeply distressed by uncertainty and harsh reality.
The usual meeting and gathering places either closed or ceased to exist. As a result and often amid fits of distrust and anger, associations floundered, planned alliances failed to materialize, and friendships disappeared. The effects of this one event will likely be historically referred to as one of the most damaging and destructive periods in our nation’s history.
In the end, however, it all came down to individual behavior, a matter of accepting or rejecting, of assuming or actually knowing, of either sitting passively while hoping it would all go away or trying to figure out how to repair the damage which is still with us and will continue to be for a long time.
For sure, it was an acid test of how important it is for us to realize just how valuable personal relationships are. Not only were our work places and fellow workers deeply affected, so were our professional associates, friends, relatives, coffee drinking companions, and even strangers who had much to gain from you and you from them.
All of that has been crowded off the front pages by other events in a world that’s always on the move. The profoundly deep and scarring effects, however, remain as a stern reminder of what everyone should do not just during a special time such as the pandemic, but all the time.
Here are some logical approaches:
Rather than calling or texting, write a note to those who dropped out of your life and have yet to come back in. Acknowledge how long it has been since you were last in contact then ask them how they are getting along. How they respond will tell you if they do or don’t want to pick up where you both left off. Even if they don’t, you made the effort and asked the question and it was they who gave the answer.
If you are a member of any kind of organization, there is always a need for any action that will help to bring everyone back together or if they already are, encourage them to stay that way. That means placing the emphasis on the organization’s original mission or purpose and reviewing what the group offers to its members.
Cultivate and promote the personal relationships that managed to survive the pandemic. Contact and visit with those people more often. Just keep in mind that hearts are likely to still be tender and could remain that way for a long time.
Especially destructive was how the pandemic directly or indirectly caused everyone to become even more sensitive to and sharply divided by political and religious views, not to mention such personal issues as one’s love life and troubles in the family or workplace. Whenever and however, be an example of someone willing to reduce the brittleness and even the hate created or fueled by the pandemic.
Pledge yourself to creating an even tighter and enduring bond with your closest friends, especially the true ones willing to help you if you get sick, or lend you money if you run short. Consider yourself fortunate if you have two such friends. Indeed, surveys show that few people have three and almost none have more than that.
Make and take every opportunity to gain new acquaintances. Yes, be cautious when engaging with a stranger, but also know that paranoia can strangle your chances for meeting people who could be valuable attributes to your life and yours to them.
The backdrop for all of this is that appearances aside, we human beings are social animals. We enjoy being around other people and achieve more when we are with those who are on or associated with the same mission. We serve as comforting and useful check points for each other.
How and how often you relate to others is how they will most likely relate to you. Do it right and everyone, including you, will be better.
