For we human beings, socializing comes naturally. Even if we don’t say anything, we nearly always return a smile, wave a hand, or give some other signal that says “I acknowledge you.”
We use socializing as a logical utility to become acquainted, renew or make more secure an already established connection with another person, or serve as a prelude for addressing more serious matters.
Socializing knows no limits. It can be conducted anywhere by most anyone under almost every kind of circumstance. In public we greet strangers. On the more intimate side, we socialize to gain status, pass the time, learn more about another person or group of people, or just to have an enjoyable time.
We can even choose the tone of our socializing. It can range all the way from laughter and light-hearted expressions to serious exchanges involving commitment, purpose, or mission.
Until recent times, there was no limit to what kind of socializing we did, with whom we did it, or how much time we spent in doing it. From partners on a dance floor to partners in a business office, we were able to engage in it openly and freely.
Teachers socialized with both students and parents. Workers and bosses socialized at company gatherings and parties. Club and association members and neighbors felt free to socialize whenever they gathered. There was no limit to how much, who with, and for what reason that socializing occurred. It often brought out the best in people and placed on display traits they didn’t know they or anyone else had.
Only after we consider all these facets of socializing do we realize how much and what kind of a critical role it plays in our effort to know others and for others to know us. Equally valuable is the extent to which it effectively benefits us no matter how improbable or unlikely the eventual outcome.
Without socializing, we might as well be all by ourselves in the middle of a vast and lonely desert or at sea hundreds of miles from land.
Yet, despite the vital roles that socializing plays in our lives, we are allowing it to be snatched from us — not all at once, but in little and often unnoticed pieces that when placed all together, are changing the way we talk, listen, reason, and act.
We have allowed ourselves to become fearful if not paranoid because we might use the wrong words, say the wrong thing, refer to the wrong label, or express a belief or opinion not held or approved by the other person. We fear that in making any such mistake we won’t be forgiven.
Whether we are a gregarious or social-minded person or a relative recluse, our own intolerance is eroding the positive force provided by social intercourse.
In the meantime, technology is not only stealing our identity, it is preventing us from getting to know others — changing what could be an interesting and enjoyable experience into a dull and unrewarding happening or simply eliminating the happening.
Think of how many phone calls are now made or answered by a robotic device, how many retail stores have replaced check out folks with self-check out lanes, how much information is being delivered by screens and displays, how many restaurants take and fill orders electronically. Everywhere we turn, electric and mechanical devices are replacing people. And as if that weren’t enough, cameras are recording what everyone is doing and saying.
Now you can begin to realize how much person-to-person relating has already been and continues to be eliminated. No more personal greetings, explanations, or casual banter about work and family. No more funny stories or quick jokes. No more of what has been so vital in our efforts to know one another even if limited to a simple but well-intended “good morning” or “have a good day.”
As bad as this situation already is, artificial intelligence is poised to make it much worse. Already, fake is showing up not just anywhere but everywhere.
All of this depersonalizing is already causing you to be much less the conversationalist than you could be, providing fewer chances for helping people feel as good as they could, and preventing you from celebrating with them in good times or relating to them in bad times.
No matter how illogical, in becoming more like the unfeeling devices that are replacing us, we are becoming less than we always have been and were meant to be.
