Any attempt to discuss the present political side of our existence almost guarantees being sucked into the likes of a boxing ring with no referee to keep order. Few if any of the arguments even begin to make sense. Every attempt to reveal the truth is scorned or ignored.
At the same time, logic nearly always gets thrown out the window. Any decorum followed at the beginning is soon either lost or trampled by those who insist that on all counts they are unquestionably correct.
Nothing or no one is immune, not even if someone is successful in steering the arguments away from politics and into another timely subject such as education, health, or national defense. Say any “wrong” word and there’s neither time nor opportunity to protect oneself from the immediate explosions of opinions and strong beliefs.
The situation has become so discouraging that even the most faithful, patient, and reasonable among us are beginning to think that as bad as it is, the situation is becoming even worse. Already, most people can count the number of friends they have lost and relatives with whom they are no longer on speaking terms.
Take a deep breath and acknowledge that if you are alive, you are vulnerable. Even if the neutral position is still intact, it’s no longer off limits to determined combatants who have come to believe that only cowards refuse to take sides until after all the evidence is presented.
No matter how aggravating and exasperating, this widespread condition is no small matter, not when the fate of the nation through loss of personable freedoms is at stake. With today’s hot tempers, it’s no longer a stretch to even think of it as endangering human life.
Now that we’ve taken a quick look at the broad view, let’s bring it down to a situation in which a reasonable discussion has turned hostile — remarks made by the person who has unexpectedly gone on the defensive by flatly rejecting your thoughts, beliefs, or supporting evidence.
What you immediately face is being called a misguided fool, or even an enemy of the people. With all of that heavy weight on your shoulders, you are likely to be shouted down no matter how reasonable you try to be.
Logic says it should have never come to this, but it has. So it’s up to you to make the best of it even if the other person isn’t willing to follow.
In a plaintive voice, you ask what has happened to respect, understanding, and decency? Few know and worse yet, few care. Instead of getting an answer to the question, you are likely to be accused of having it all wrong, an adverse element to be pushed aside by those who really do “get it.”
Despite those stiff odds, you just might be able to cool the situation enough that everyone can walk away at least halfway satisfied.
Of course, your first impulse is to defend your position, and at one time, that was the honorable thing to do. But not today with its almost instant negative attitudes. As a result, to persist almost guarantees you and the other person being drawn into a “he said she said” contest. And that’s when you can make a world of difference.
Instead of trying to walk down that path, be patient and attentive throughout the other person’s introduction and pursuit of the highly controversial subject. Then look directly at them and ask this question: I understand what you are saying, but what do you want me to do about it?
Although that is an appropriate and logical question, it most likely won’t be easy for the other person to answer, so be patient. Give them time to collect their thoughts. If they are having difficulty, acknowledge that sometimes important questions demand more than the usual time to be answered.
If, however, the person does provide an answer, thank them for the information, then change the subject or say goodbye and walk away.
This strategy isn’t condescending, neither does it promote, tend to start, or add to an argument. Instead, it’s a logical way to at least temporarily preserve civility without either side having to object or concede to any part of an opposing view.
That’s not only the best way, it’s also the American way — the proper way for everyone to act in a democracy.
