Traffic is heavy and fast. Suddenly and seemingly from out of nowhere, a car races past you, then missing you by inches, cuts in front of you, changes lanes again, and is soon out of sight. Emotionally rattled, you utter several unkind, maybe even unprintable words. No harm was done, but the stupid and potentially dangerous acts committed by the other driver grind at you for the rest of the day.
Or consider this:
Barely two months have gone by since a person was hired to join your group at work and you are already feeling uneasy. The solidly credentialed newbie is confident, a quick learner, and liked by everyone. Your gut feeling is telling you the high standing and influence you have had among the others for so long is beginning to slip away. The resentment and outright dislike you began to feel toward that person is increasing.
Such incidents have become so common that they join the much larger river filled with what you believe have either gone wrong or are headed in that direction, narrowly missing or colliding with your own values and sense of security.
Not being among the fastest learners in life’s classroom, I was a bit slow in realizing the destructive nature of such incidents.
In the first example, that flash of anger places a negative imprint on your otherwise level-headed behavior. The second example could cause you to slide down the back side and out the door instead of moving up the bright side toward even more good things.
It’s not enough, however, to allow such consequences to happen only to you. Neither should they spill over into the lives of others. That led to a logical strategy based on this fact: Not only is everyone in the world different one from the other, so is their learning curve and the speed and intensity with which they learn.
Bluntly stated, here’s the inescapable fact we all face: Although some people may know as much as you do, others know less or more.
In the first example, the driver had yet to learn how to drive properly. Even if they had, they obviously ignored the possible consequences.
That means instead of becoming angry and frustrated, you could have voiced feelings of empathy and understanding, thought of it as yet another reminder that everyone is on a different learning curve which in this case, was lower than yours.
The second example is somewhat different because instead of happening in a few moments, that condition extended over a much longer time. No matter how difficult, you must first realize the other person is not only on a different learning curve than yours, but also a higher one which means they know more than you do.
That presents you with two potentially rewarding opportunities. First, you can learn from that person by using them as an example to follow—listening to what they say and watching what they do and how they do it. And second, you can help them reach the goals they have set for themselves. By being a party to their success, you will be enhancing your own future.
Yes, some circumstances may be difficult to impossible to overcome or morally or legally unacceptable. Never forget, however, that you can never go wrong in taking the high road.
This, then, is what you tack onto any wall you see every day:
Show empathy and understanding toward those who are obviously on a lower and different learning curve than you are.
Welcome anyone who is on a higher and different learning curve than yours and help them become successful.
On all counts, the positive results will shimmer outward and beyond farther than you could ever have thought possible.
